Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Indecision!


Above is a little 4x6 study I did today entitled "Spring Chickens" - about an hour total. It was all I
could manage today.
 I seem to be drifting in a sea of indecision lately.  There are things I really want to
paint, but I'm not good enough at them yet to do anything serious, and I am tired to death of doing so-so, ho-hum, yawn, average works.   Sometimes I want to scream "no more lousy art!"  (hey, would that work?)

I think we probably must go through these kind of experiences. Maybe it is a bit like pruning our apple tree-
too many branches going too many different directions  dilute the resources of the tree - better to cut it back and direct the growth in one direction.  I know all this in my head, but it is frustrating to feel like I'm stuck
spinning my wheels and going nowhere fast.   There are commitments and opportunities looming, but what I really want to do is just shut the door to it all and get by myself and paint.  Some of those things I HAVE to do, and some I SHOULD do (there's that whole making money thing), so I can't ignore them even though I'd like to.
Right now, I think it'd be great if I could disappear for about 2 years, and come back, hopefully a better artist.
.


3 comments:

Kerri Settle said...

I know exactly what you mean! I'm kind of in that phase myself and have been pouring over art resources and books for the past week trying to figure out how to improve and where to go. I think the restlessness is a good sign though, because that's what pushes us to become better artists in the long run.

Judy P. said...

My goodness Deb, you sound exactly like me, but at your impressive level I hope you give yourself enough props. This is a lovely, successful painting- and in an hour?
I can work 3 hours and have so little to show for it; then I have to convince myself 'well, it was good brush practice time'.

Deb said...

kerri, yes, you're right. I think growth as an artist comes in a series of dips and plateaus- with accompanying frustration to match. Knowing that doesnt make it less frustrating though! I think part of it right now is being torn between obligations and spending time focusing on what I really want to paint!